Monday, April 18, 2011

Feelings

I know this is going to sound ridiculous but tonight I cried when I saw the expiration date on our eggs was May 6th.  Yes, it's true...I stood at the refrigerator and cried.  Thankfully it actually had nothing to do with our eggs but just seeing something with the date of May on it was one of my many reminders that May will be here way too soon.  This means Cain's Fontan surgery is just around the corner.  I can't stand the weeks leading up to his surgeries.  I'm always an emotional wreck.  I can be fine one moment and crying the next.  I'm usually doing okay as long as I stay busy.  And I mean real busy.  But as his surgery gets closer and closer I find myself sometimes with tears in my eyes at the most unusual times.  Like tonight with the eggs.

It seems like this is the year of the Fontan.  There have been so many children that I keep up with via Facebook or blogs that have or will be undergoing their Fontan this year.  Most everyone seems to have had a very successful surgery and recovery so that certainly helps me.  But no matter what, there is no way you can ever be emotionally ready for your child to have to undergo a major open heart surgery.  It makes it even harder for me because I wish there was a way I could explain to Cain what was about to happen and why.

Another added stress is this will be the first surgery that I'll be torn between my time with Cain and with Callie.  My focus was 100% on Cain for his last two surgeries.  I know my family will be here to help with Callie but it will still be hard being away from her some.  I know it could be a lot worse though.  There are many families that have to leave siblings behind in one city and travel to another city or even another state for their child's surgeries.  I can't even imagine what that must be like.

There is a part of me that is so ready to get this final scheduled surgery behind us and then there is the other part that will never be ready!  Even though I'm constantly worrying I feel that I do a great job in not letting my fear ruin our days and moments leading up to this surgery.  All of my moments with Cain are so special (even the moments when he is throwing his 2 year old temper tantrums) but every moment with him seems to be even more special in these weeks leading up to his surgery.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Baby Blue



Never in a million years did I think I would have a blue-eyed girl.  I absolutely LOVE her blue eyes.  I hope they stay blue forever.

I often catch myself singing George Strait's "Baby Blue" song to her.

"And baby blue was the color of her eyes.  Baby blue like the Colorado skies."  


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Cain's Man Cave

Or maybe I should say "Cain's Toddler Cave".  Last weekend my neighbors niece and my other neighbors two daughters created Cain his very own man cave.  We had an empty box we were throwing away so they used their creative skills and created the cutest fun house while he was napping.  He was so excited when he saw it.  I'll be honest, I was a bit nervous that he wouldn't have much to do with it after the girls spent hours working on it but he LOVED it.  He stayed in it all afternoon/evening and even ate breakfast in it the next morning.  I had pulled it into our kitchen during the night.


The crafty kiddo's





Cain even let his sister come inside is fun house

Daniella reading to Cain


Cain checking out all of his mail



Okay mom...get out...this is for kids only!