Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Day I Became a 'Heart Mother'

A year ago today my life changed forever. I remember the day just like it was yesterday. It’s amazing how much can happen in a year and how fast a year can fly by. A year ago today was my 30th birthday. It’s also the day we learned Cain would live the rest of his life with Congenital Heart Defects. I thought the best 30th birthday present I could give myself would be to find out if we were going to have a boy or a girl. I decided to schedule my 20 week ultrasound on my birthday. One thing I never expected was to hear “your child has a heart defect”. At the time we thought that day was the most devastating day of our lives. Looking back I now realize that learning of Cain’s heart defects was actually a true birthday blessing. I wish more than anything that Cain did not have to have his heart defects but I am so happy that the wonderful technicians and Dr.’s found Cain’s heart defects early in my pregnancy. Many families do not learn their child has a heart defect until they are born and problems arise. And sadly sometimes it’s too late. By learning of Cain’s heart defects early we were able to prepare ourselves the best we could. We were also able to have the wonderful NICU team waiting in my delivery room ready stabilize Cain and transport him to NICU. Cain was not breathing when he was born so I always think who knows what could have happened had we not been prepared. Now I am able to sit here today on my 31st birthday celebrating how far we have come in a year. We’ve certainly been through a lot but being able to see how great Cain is doing today makes it all worth it. This sweet face is the best birthday present I could EVER receive!

Many of you have walked this journey with us from the very beginning. Thank you all so much for being there for us and for supporting our family during our hardest moments.

There is a poem I’ve seen many times on websites and blogs since learning of Cain’s heart defects. I thought today would be a perfect day to share it with others since a year ago today was the day I became a ‘Heart Mother’.

The Day I became a 'Heart Mother' by Stephanie Husted
One day my world came crashing down,I'll never be the same...They told me that my child was sick...I thought, am I to blame? I don't think I can handle this...I'm really not that strong...It seemed my heart was breaking..As, I'd loved him for so long. I will not give up on this child..despite your best "advice"...I will give my child a chance...No matter what the price...And I will learn all that I need..to help my child to thrive...I'll even use that feeding tube..My child will survive! Will he require therapy? What if he can't gain weight? Alright God I can do this...I will not curse our fate. The feeding pump beeps,( at 3:00 a.m.)It serves as my reminder..How many parents would welcome that sound? Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder. Another angel earns their wings..and I run to my sleeping child's bed...I watch him then, for quite awhile...(Bend down and kiss his head)Then I cry for the parent's whose lives have been broken,And I look to God wondering why?Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways..No matter how I try.And yet, I trust You hold his life,(and guide us through each day)My mind says savor each moment he's here...But my heart whispers,"Please let him stay".From... pacing the surgical waiting room...to sitting by his hospital bed...From... wishing for a good nights sleep...to learning every med...From... wondering will he be alright?to watching him reach out his hands..with every smile, my heart just melts..(despite life's harsh demands)For all who see that faded line...I look to them and smile...You see my child is loved so much..I would face any trial...That same scar I trace with my finger..(It's the door to his beautiful heart)I never guessed how much I'd love him...(Just as YOU loved him right from the start)A heart mom is always a heart mom..(Now wise beyond her years)And for those who have angels in heaven..Our hearts share in all of your tears..Everyday I will strive to remember..You chose me for him(and no other)And I will embrace that beautiful day..When I became a "heart mother".

Cain playing with the card he gave me for my birthday

And of course...eating it too!!


Lauren said...


Happy Birthday!!!

I'm glad everything turned out for the best! Glad to hear Cain is doing well! He is adorable!

Hope your birthday is full of blessings! Sending **Heart Hugs** your way!

With LOTS of Hope, Love, and Faith,
Lauren (22yr. old w/Tricuspid Atresia aka HRHS)
Blog: www.laurensheart.blogspot.com

The Simmons Family said...

Happy Birthday!!

I am so grateful that we found out at our 20 week ultrasound as well. ALL I wanted to know was the sex of the baby, I never even thought something could be wrong. I kept saying "please tell me it's a girl".. then the tech said "it's a boy".. hold on a sec while I get the dr.

That's the moment that our world came crashing down.

Obviously now... we couldn't be HAPPIER!! It's great to hear your story and I hope your birthday is WONDERFUL!

Scott McKenzie said...

I thought about your last birthday this morning when I saw it was your birthday. I hope you have a great one!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

From one heart mom to another - Happy Birthday Cain

Kathy said...

What a blessing Cain is to all who know him.

3 "A's" and a "B" said...

Happy birthday!!!!

Shannon said...

Happy Birthday!! :)

Suth-ern Mama said...

Thank you for sharing your story, Cain's story, with so many. Our Maia was born last October with HRHS and is a thriving little lady who will be turning one in a month!!! Woohoo! I pray that God continues to heal little Cain's heart! God bless!

Katie said...

Happy Birthday...how fun, we're the same age! Hope you had a great one :)

Tiffany Lockette said...

Happy Belated Birthday and Mr. Cain is absolutely adorable and a miracle!!

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to thank you for leaving us a message. I am fairly new to blogging, but have been sharing my poems on Braeden's carepage for several years. I am always pleasently surprised when I read one of my poems on someone else's blog.(Nice to know that there are other mommy's that understand the way I feel)I look forward to following Cain's jounrney!

Stephanie(mommy to Braeden HLHS)


Shauna said...

Great post!! Hope you had a wonderful birthday.

The Banks Family said...

I remember your bday last year...I hurt so much for you. But look at all you've come through and I know you wouldn't give anything for it! I can imagine that poem says it all as to your thoughts and prayers through it all. So happy prayers have been answered for sweet Cain and I know he was the BEST bday gift you could ever ask for!